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Hard Realizations About Myself

I am pretty lazy and I find more excuses for why I can’t do something and then I beat myself up for it when it becomes overwhelming

I am always in a state of dissatisfaction I have trouble finding the good in right now I am always thinking that I should have this and I should be able to do that instead of enjoying to the fullest what I have now

I sell myself short I am so hard on myself and constantly think that I am a loser in everything that i do. I think that I have no triumph only failures

I don’t own my own happiness I find that I self sabotage my day by letting anything “bad” throw off my entire day where I then take it out on my family partially my husband

I let the opinions of my mother outweigh my husband’s. What she says goes and more recently it has been on how to raise our daughter. I loose my voice and revert back to being a child myself and I don’t fend for myself. I let her control me.

I have trouble being a mom. It’s kinda hard putting this in words…I love my daughter with everything I have and I couldn’t imagine life without her, but I find myself wishing for days that the only butt I had to worry about wiping was my own or the wish that my husband and I could just go somewhere just because and not have to line up baby sitters. I feel as if I wasn’t and I still am not fully equipped, that we never got a chance to just be us

I can’t let go of the what ifs and the past I am constantly thinking about what I should have done or could have done in the past so much so that it effects my here and now

I am an avid worrier

He has met me in a place where I thought I was alone. In the quiet He spoke to my heart and heard my cry. Come to me He said and I shall give you rest. I have heard you but you pushed my words away I have always been here for you and I always will. Won’t you hold my hand won’t you draw near to me. Come. Come.

souljunkee:

Say baby, can I be your slave?
I’ve got to admit girl, your the shit girl
And I am digging you like a grave

Now do they call you daughter to the Spinning Pulsar
Or maybe Queen of 10,000 Moons, Sister to the distant yet
Rising star

Is your name Yemaya? Oh hell nah, it’s got to be Oshun

Ooh is that a smile me put on your face child?
Wide as a field of jasmine and clover

Talk that talk honey, walk that walk money
High on legs that’ll spite Jehovah
Shit, who am I
It’s not important
But they call me brother to the night
And right now I am the blues in your left thigh
Trying to become the funk in your right

Who am I? ‘ll be whoever you say
But right now I’m the sight raped hunter
Blindly pursuing you as my prey

And I just want to give you injections of
Sublime erections and get you to dance to my rhythm
Make you dream archtypes
Of black angels in flight
Upon wings of distorted, contorted metaphoric jizm

Come on slim, fuck your man, I ain’t worried about him

It’s you who I want to step to my scene
Cause rather than deal with the fallacy
Of this dry ass reality
I’d rather dance and romance your sweet ass in a wet dream

Who am I, well they all call me
Brother to the night and right now I am
The blues in your left thigh, trying to be the funk in your right
Is that alright?

marketr:

It’s nearly Mother’s Day, let’s take a look at the tight-knit community of users who trim the crusts off our sandwiches, Mumblrs.

  • There are indeed moms on Tumblr. (Sorry kids.) In fact, there’s a whole community of new and expecting mumblrs, momblrs, and pregblrs sharing in the ups and downs of parenthood.
  • Mumblrs skew younger. 40% of visiting moms are millennials (21-34). Naturally, they also have younger kids. Most of the conversation happening with the mumblr tag is about rearing infants, toddlers, and tykes.
  • Mumblrs are prolific writers. Text posts are the most common original post type, although photos and quotes are still the most reblogged.

Sources: Union Metrics & comScore

To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union